Clearing the Air Workshops


the Father Wound®


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Gordon Clay

An advertising executive1965-2001, Gordon began grassroots men's work around single fathering issues in 1976. In 1979, he established The Fathers' Network as a referral for fathers who want to work with the issues, problems and joys of parenting. In 1982, he created The National Men's Resource Center, a reference of men's organizations, research, books, publications, cultural programs and films on men's issues with the goal to end men's isolation and remained its Founder and Executive Director until his retirement the end of 2015 when he ended the non-profit.

In 1983, he was a co-planner of the 2nd Women & Men Together gathering in Santa Cruz, CA. In 1984, he developed Tantrum Yoga® movement and breath work system devoid of any violence such as pillow pounding. He founded Heartworks to offer mind & body consulting based on this concept. In 1985, he published the first quarterly issue of Menstuff®, The National Men's Resource and continued as publisher until it became a website in August, 1996 ( It is the largest web site in the world on men's issues and ranks in the top 20% of the top million web sites. Also, back in 1985, he created a workshop for women only and men only titled Healing the Father Wound® and in 1986 created the first Rites-of-Passage for Fathers & Teenage Daughters with his daughter, Natalie.

He has also presented numerous workshops on anger, single parenting, fathers and daughters, and openhearted, non-sexual intimacy. He was co-chair of the National Organization for Men Against Sexism 1987-1989 and board president of the California Men's Gathering Inc., 1993-94 as well as a co-planner of the 8th, 15th and 25th gatherings. In 1991, he created Everyman, which helps men bring other men in their community together for a day of information and process with the goal of building or strengthening the local men's community. In 1994, he appeared in a powerful video on diversity, The Color of Fear, which won the National Education Media Gold Apple Award (and the remake Walking Each Other Home). That year, he also created the Browser's Bookmobile for which he was the curator/driver. It was a mobile library with over 1,000 books on men's issues and was a full-time RVer until December 31, 1999, traveling over 30,000 miles through 26 states and visiting rural communities too small to support their own bookstore or library. He has presented numerous times at not only the National Organization for Men Against Sexism but also The National Congress of Men. He has been the male panelist in "GenderSpeak" a communications program produced by Harper's Bazaar, presented for three years at the Chico State University's "Men in the 90's" weeks, at Senator Maddy's Annual Women's Conference in Fresno, CA, the International Men's Conference, and was a co-presenter with John James on two day-long conferences on Men in Recovery in Oakland and Walnut Creek, CA

Television and radio appearances include Oprah, Real Personal on CNBC and Hour Magazine, and he has appeared on numerous radio and live Internet news programs and in magazine and newspaper articles. Contact us (See Trainings as a participant.)


  • 2017-2024 - Created the web site to shift the national focus from ZeroSuicide, where 50,000 people die annually, to focus in on the 1.7 million who actually attempt suicide annually.
  • 2012-2020 - "First Friday Salon" is a free evening to see and talk about documentaries that, most likely, wound never show in the area.
  • 2008: Voices radio show which aired on KURY-910am every other Thursday at 6:30am, 8:30am, Noon, 4:30pm and 6:30pm.
  • 2006-2013: Through My Eyes Essay Contest - with local high school seniors writing about the impact drugs or alcohol has had on their lives. Local newspaper prints winning essays weekly and published a booklet of all of the essays.
  • 2006-2024 - Created a web site to encourage fathers to support their daughters in male dominant sports and daugthers to do what THEY want to do. We list over 1,900 women who have raced against men plus a lot of information and resources on how to get your daughter started.
  • 2006-2024: Created web site to address issues impacting Curry County, Oregon.
  • 2006-2008: Created Men's Mini Health Fair in local communitees.
  • 2003-2005 - On the development group to design a workshop for girls 10-13 called G.I.R.L.S.' Journey
  • 2003-2015 - Created and built The Men's Study housing 256 linear feet of books on men's issues. Moved entire collection to Michigan State University's Changing Men Collection in January, 2015.
  • 2001-2024 - Created the Wildwood Himitage (vs. Hermitage), North of Brookings, OR (
  • 2000 - Took an advance this year with no human contact to prepare for the new millineun which started 010101. See my weekly progress report.
  • 1994-2024: Developed a web site on men's issues called, which has grown to become the largest web site on men's issues. It lists thousands of on-site men's books, resources and hyperlinks and hundreds of men's events, periodicals and groups committed to a positive change in male roles and relationships Connected to were specific issue web sites:,, and (Released ownership of the following websites:,,,,,,,,
  • 1994-1999 - Created Browser's Bookmobile 8/94, a mobile library of 1,000 books on 60 men's issues that traveled to rural communities too small to support their own library or bookstore. He drove the Bookmobile full-time over 30,000 miles through 26 states. The Bookmobile was retired from active travel on 12.31.99. Over 6,000 men's issues books were donated to Michigan State Univesity's Changing Men's Collection in 2015.
  • 1994 - Was a cast member in the films The Color of Fear (1994). the remake Walking Each Other Home (1997) and Color of Fear - 3 (2005)
  • 1992-2011 - Developed and facilitated Clearing the Air™ Between Women & Men
  • 1991-2020 - Everyman - Helps men bring other men in their community together for a day of information and process with the goal of building or strengthening the local men's community.
  • 1990 - Created and produced the "Clear Energy" ritual audio tape with the late Frank "Suru" Ekeh & Jim Berenholtz and "Issues", a unique intuition tape
  • 1988 - Developed "Strengthening the Bonds", a process to build pride and self-esteem vs. hazing in fraternity pledge programs
  • 1987: 1/1/87 Started MAS Medium & Company (Marketing/Advertising/Sales Promotion)
  • 1986: He has also presented numerous workshops on Men & Anger, Single Parenting, Fathers, and Couples workshops. He created Wacky Window Wobbles to politicize car windows.
  • 1985-1996: Published the first issue of Menstuff®, The National Men's Resource a quarterly publication to end men's isolation. It lists thousands of on-site men's book reviews & covers, men's resources and hyperlinks and hundreds of men's events, periodicals and groups committed to a positive change in male roles and relationships. It was converted to a website ( in May 22, 1996.
  • 1984-2011 - Developed advances: Healing the Father Wound® for Women Only and Men Only, West and East Coast, Father & Teen-age Daughter Rite-Of-Passage with his daughter Natalie on the West Coast and Midwest. The Male Experience for Fathers & Teen-age Sons, Women & Men: Being Our True Selves Together; Clearing the Air Between Women and Men; Men Dealing with Our Anger, and Healing the Mother Wound® for Women Only and Men Only Developed Tantrum Yoga®, a movement and breath work system for the safe and healthy expression of anger and rage in a non-hitting, non-violent way. "What Do Men Really Want" conference (1984-88). Associate speaker 1985. Member National Organization for Men Against Sexism. Council member 1986-88. Council Co-Chair 1987-1989. San Francisco Advertising Club Board
  • 1983 - Co-planner - 2nd "Women & Men Together" gathering in Santa Cruz, CA
  • 1982-2024 - Created The National Men's Resource Center, a not-for-profit educational resource (68.0337499) of men's organizations, events, research, books, publications, culture programs, films and more to end men's isolation. Founding Board Member and executive director 10/7/94 to 12/31/15 and Curator/Driver of the Browser's Bookmobile and managed several web sites including prostate cancer awareness week, testicular cancer awareness week, (closed), (closed), and his latest venture is
  • 1982-1983 - North Bay Ad Club - Founding President.
  • 1982 - Co-creator of the Road Show, a program designed to present issue-oriented workshops in local communities.
  • 1981 - Started presenting workshops on: single parenting, anger, homophobia, relationships, starting a men's group, men & friendship, men & war, myths about women-myths about men, expectations, intimacy, big boys don't cry etc.
  • 1981-94, 2005 - California Anti-Sexist Men's Political (CAMP) Caucus. (1981-85) Co-Editor-Making Waves, and Direct Action Task Groups. California Men's Gathering Inc. (1981-1994), Board member 1994-93, President 1993, Co-planner of the 8th, 15th and 25th
  • 1976-2014 - Began grassroots men's work around single fathering issues and established The Fathers' Network as a referral for fathers who want to work with the issues, problems and joys of parenting. Moved to others in December, 2014.
  • 1976 - Entered California 9/15/75 to work for N.W. Ayer Pritikin & Gibbons.
  • 1973: 10.31.73 Divorced

    Other: Panelist: Men's Generational Solutions for Gender Equality, 4/30/22. He was a panelist on the subject of Preventing Suicide in Men: Community-Based Guidance from Inter-Professional and Diverce Experts at the 2021 Oregon Suicide Prevention Conference. He has been the male panelist in "GenderSpeak" a communications program produced by Harper's Bazaar, and Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women. He presented for three years at the Chico State University's "Men in the 90's" weeks, at Senator Maddy's Annual Women's Conference, the International Men's Conference in Austin, Health & Wellness Fair, North Bend, OR 10/23/02 and was a co-presenter with John James on several conferences in Oakland, and Walnut Creek CA on Men in Recovery. Also, the Sacramento Conference on Self Esteem, Willits Men's Gathering, Sacramento Govenors Confrerence on Fathers, Headstart Conference, Sacramento, Burning Man 1998-1999, 2001-2010 (DJ 1999 through 2006)

    SPEAKER 1981-2024: Rotary: Crescent City, CA 3/24/16, 11/9/17; Brookings, OR 10/27/15; Gold Beach, OR; Port Orford, OR. Ultimate Man Summit, North Coast Educational Summit Humbolt State University, Arcata, CA 2/03; Mankind Project '99 conference in Indianapolis, 2005 conference in Milwaukee; Senator Maddy's 5th Fresno (CA) Women's Conf; State of California's 14th Conf on Self-Esteem; Harper's Bazaar "GenderSpeak" panel at Today's Woman conf, Nordstrom & Neiman Marcus; Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women panel; "Men in the 90's" Chico State University 3x; Men in Recovery with John James 2x; Inter Men's Conf in Austin, TX 2x; Keynote at 1st Men's Symposium, Walnut Creek, CA; "What Do Men Really Want" conf; Mid-Coast Psychological Assoc & Family Services of Santa Cruz and numerous presentations at National Conferences on Men & Masculinity, the California Men's Gatherings and the North Coast Men's Gatherings.

    MEDIA APPEARANCES 1982-2024: TELEVISION: Oprah Winfrey, Real Personal-CNBC-TV, Hour Magazine, Rick at Night-San Luis Obispo, People Are Talking-KPIX-TV, AM San Francisco and AM Weekend-KGO-TV, Express-KQED-TV, Studio A-KTVU-TV, Do It, SacraMENshow, Metavisions-Viacom Cable, Next Step-Channel 27, Palo Alto, CA (3/8/11) RADIO: Gender Talk, Crescent City, CA; KCIW Brookings, OR; Voices Brookings, OR radio program which aired on KURY-910am every other Thursday at 6:30am, 8:30am, noon, 4:30pm and 6:30pm. KHSU Arcata; Ashland Public Radio; Appearances/guest host of Man-to-Man talk show-KCBS, Let's Talk About It-KSOL, Open Mind-KNBR, Potpourri-KBLX, In A Man's Shoes-Boston, Building Bridges, Lunch Box & Changing Men-KPFA Berkeley & KFCF Fresno, CA MAGAZINES: Brother, Changes, Focus, Man, Marin Family News, Men's Health, New Republic, New Woman, Quest, San Francisco Image. NEWSPAPERS: Curry Coastal Pilot; Baltimore Sun, Christian Science Monitor, Los Angeles Times, Marin Independent Journal, Oakland Tribune, Pacific Sun, San Francisco Chronicle, Sober Times, USA Today, Wingspan. BOOKS: Selection in The Best Man. A chapter in A Global Dialogue on Masculinity: 33 men speak out. Wrote the Forward to Freedom from Shame: Trauma, Forgiveness and Healing from Sexual Abuse to be published, April, 2024. MOVIES: "The Color of Fear" and the sequel "Walking Each Other Home".


    Workshops as a participant

    1981 Fathering: It Ain't What it Used to Be; Reevaluation Counciling - Blumenthal*; 4th California Men's Gathering

    1982 6th Conference on Men & Masculinity; Women & Men Together - Santa Cruz;11/19-21 Real Men, Real Women - Quiche 2.

    1983 California Anti-Sexist Men's Political (CAMP) Caucus; 5/3 Petaluma Mens Night Out; 6/11-12 Quiche Raft Trip (24); 11/26 Extended Family - Asara; How to Deal with an Angry Woman - George Simon; Women & Men Together - Santa Cruz

    1984 3/2-4 Who Are You, Oriental Massage training - Graduate December; Magic of the Elements; 5/11-13 Sex, Love & Intimacy Level I; 7/24-29 Love & Intimacy Level 3; 9/14-16 Love & Intimacy Level 2; 10/12-14 Love & Intimacy Level 4; October Who Are You;

    1985 Continued massage training; 2/2-3 Open Life; June Mendocino Men's Gathering; 8/9-11 Love & Intimacy Level 4;

    1986:1/26 2nd Level Massage graduation; Gay Luce's year-long Nine Gates Mystery School; 1986 Men of Marin; 1/18 or 5/10 Re-Sourcing - Carolyn Anderson/Jeff Daly; 5/86 Mendocino Bly; 5/30-6/1 Love & Intimacy Level 4; 6/6-8 Man & His Spirit - Bliss; November, Palenque, Mexico. Dr Z;

    1987 Shamanic or sooner - Harner - CIIS, Esalen, Boston, Soho-NYC; 2/6-8 Dance of the Deer - Brant Secunda; 12/87 Domain Shift;

    1988: 2/19-21 Warriors of the Heart; 4/22-24 Masque making as Medicine Way-Suki Jay/Tom Pinkson; 12/2-4 Sex, Love & Intimacy Level 5;


    1990: 6/22-24 - New Warrior Training Adventure - Chicago; September - Spiritual Warrior - Chicago; John Gray; Next Step Women & Men - Durango; Shaman`s Circle - Austin; Mendocino Bly Leader`s Conference;


    1992: 1/12 - Bali; New Warrior Integration Group through 8/94

    1993: 2/21 - Ovarios y Cojones - Clarissa Pinkola Estes & Michael Meade; 4/93 - David Crump's Essential Experience; June - Reunion - Shaman`s Circle - Mendocino; New Warrior Integration Group, PSI World (93/94?); 12/18 - Canada and Cancun Mexico;

    1994: Mother Shadow - Joya Jennings; Heart of Courage - model mugging; Mendocino Gathering for Women & Men; 8/20 - Back to US - from Canada; September - 1st Gender Reconciliation Conference, Arlington, VA; New Warrior Integration Group. Participant in the diversity movies "The Color of Fear", "Walking Each Other Home" and "The Color of Fear 3" concerning homophobia.

    1995: Tantric Training - Maryse Cote; 1/7 - My Family, Myself, San Francisco, CA; 1/20-22 - The Mind of Love - Christina & Michael Naumer, Novato, CA; 1/28-29 - The Mythos: W&M, Michael Meade, Headlands, CA; 3/12 - Asemblage Point Shift, Alive Tribe - Calistoga, CA; 4/30-5/1 - Healing Intimate Trauma, Harbin, Middletown, CA; 8/27-9/1 - Village of Reconciliation, Michael Meade/Edie Turner, Mendocino, CA; 10/13; Canada;

    1996: Healing the Mother Wound - Carolyn Baker; July - Men & Masculinity Conference, Lewis & Clark College, Portland; MiVoden, Hadden Lake, ID - Phyllis's Training with John Shiere; 11/8; Equador & Peru;

    1997: Healing the Mother Wound, Lourdes Billingsley; February; Head Start, Sacramento; 9/27-10/10; Greece & NYC;

    1998: Life Mastery, Louis Stoltz, Escondido; W&M, Charlie Kriener, Pacific Grove (or 1999?); December - Amanae 5-day training; First Burning Man

    1999: 4/8-11 & 15-18 - Motherwave Lv 1; Tantric Meditation with Baba Ji at Mount Modanna; 4/22-25 - Healing the Mother Wound, Shauna Wilson; 5/27-30 - Motherwave Lv 2; 7/8-11 - 24th Men & Masculinity Conference, Pasadena; 7/16-22 - Motherwave Lv 3; 7/23-25 - Present "Walking Each Other Home", New Warrior/Woman Within, Indianapolis, IN; Dan Millman-Mt Madonna, CA; Warrior Monk, Glen Ivy, CA: Father Wound workshop, the Hermit card was left behind by the previous group. DJ at Burning Man

    2000: Gordon took a sabbatical (an advance, not a retreat) without human contact the first nine months of 2000 to prepare for the new millennium. Everything seemed to point in another direction than the one I was going in. What was strange was there were no sign posts telling me where I was going or what or who I was to become. Concluded in September to staff the first MKP Inside Circle in Folsom Prison

    2001: Healing the Mother Wound, Shauna Wilson; Staffed second Inside Circle - Folsom Prison. DJ at Burning Man. Staffed the 2nd one as well

    2002: 2/16-17 - Woman's Love, Man's Freedom: Two Sexual Paths, One Spiritual Bliss; David Dieda's program, Ashland, OR; 3/1-3 - The Celebration of the Noble Man, Staffed The Power of Love; Vision Quest, Alburquerce, NM; Conscious Connection, Marin.11/7, Informed that I have a Health Opportunity - I had been diagnosed with prostate cancer; DJ at Burning Man

    2003: 1/12-2/2 - Optimum Health Institute, Lemon Grove, CA; 2/7-9 - Presented "Walking Each Other Home" movie on diversity at the North Coast Educational Conference, Arcadia, CA and at the North Coast Men's Gathering 5/30-6/1. Thailand (family wedding). DJ at Burning Man

    2004: January - Optimum Health Institute, Lemon Grove, CA; Conscious Connection - Seattle; I Wish I Knew Now What I Knew Then - North Coast Men's Gathering; Somatic Training - Seattle; North Coast Ritual Village with Shauna Wilson. DJ at Burning Man in Deep Heaven

    2005: 3/1-20/05 - Optimum Health Institute, Lemon Grove, CA; HAI Couples Workshop; AMP; HAI Level 1, Intensive with Oscar Miro-Quesada/Phyllis Clay, California Men's Gathering, North Coast Men's Gathering, Nevada City Men's Gathering; DJ at Burning Man in Deep Heaven; 2/1-28 - Thailand, Laos, Cambodia ;

    2006: John Hunter's workshop on Sexuality; Nevada City Men's Gathering; NWTA-Norcal; DJ at Burning Man in Deep Heaven

    2007: Men's Mini-Health Fair - Brookings, OR; Ron Hering Mission of Service Award, Glen Ivy; Burning Man

    2008: Men's Mini-Health Fair - Brookings, OR; MKP World Elder Gathering, Portland, OR. Re-opened the Eastcoast to do Healing the Father Wound® and Clearing the Air™ Between Women & Men; An evening for men, An evening for women - Fairfax, VA; Burning Man.

    2009: 1st New Warrior Training Adventure - Initiated Man - Chicago; Northcoast Men's Gathering; Burning Man

    2010: NWTA-HI; Burning Man

    2011: Ultimate Man Summit - webnar participant

    2012: The Bridge, Nevada City

    2013: A Hero's Challenge: Being an Extrodinary Man

    2017: 1/13-17 - NWTA - SFO

    2022: Desert Wisdom, Pescott, AZ

    20??: Bay Area

Behavioral Health Trainings

Mental Health First Aid - Gold Beach
Youth Mental Health First Aid - Gold Beach
ACE - Grants Pass
ACE - Gold Beach
5/26/17 - 8:30a-12:30p C-SSRS - Providence Portland Cancer Center Auditorium
9/27/18 - 7-9a CLAS Training, Dr. Cliff Coleman, Curry General Hospital
2019 - Suicide: Prevention, Intervention & Postvention, Crescent City
  • Staffings:
    • The Edge
      • Talent - 10/13, 11/13
      • Rouge River - 3x 11/13
      • Crater - 1x 2016

      H.E.R. Weekend for women

      • Julian, CA - 3/11

      New Warrior Training Adventure

      • Hawaii - 4/10

        Portland, OR: 3/94, 6/94

        San Diego, CA: 2/92, 4/92, 5/92, 11/92*, 2/93, 11/93, 2/94*, 3/94

        San Francisco, CA: 4/98*, 11/06

        Tucson, AZ: 4/94

        Inside Circle - Folsom Prison, CA - 1st and 2nd multi-day trainings, 2000/01

        * Approximate date of the training

      Power of Love for Women

      • San Rafael, CA - 3/02

    Additional workshops Taken

    Sex, Love &  Intimacy - 6 levels

    Tom Pinkson - W&M at Harbin

    Men's Retreat at Monterey - in the condo and the Santa Cruz theatre with Fred Jealous?

    Women & Men Together - Santa Cruz - two years

    Charlie Kriener: Camp Swig; W&M with Shauna Wilson

    Stan and Christina Grof - Holotropic Breath Work

    Steven Kessler

    Gabrielle Roth - Westerbeke Ranch

    Justine Sterling - Men, Sex and Power - Oakland

    John Gray - Men are from Mars, Women are from Venius

    Gay Hendricks

    Sam Osherson on Fathering - Esalen

    Fathers & Daughters - Larry Lima, Esalen

    Daniel Ellenberg - San Francisco intimacy plus Men's weekend at Harbin

    Shadow Work - Harbin, Troy Rampy

    Mother Shadow - Joya Jennings

    Healing the Mother Wound ® - Carolyn Baker, Lourdes Billingsley, Shauna Wilson Mora twice

    Robert Bly - Mendocino Gatherings (3 or 4 years)

    Michael Meade for Women & Men on his own - Headlands

    Michael Meade/Angeles Arian - Mills College

    Michael Meade/Clarisa Pincola Estes - Palace of Fine Arts

    John/Mary - Women & Men - Esalen

    Janet Hurley - Inner Abused Child work, in Aptos, Carmel Valley

    Various Domain Shift workshops: Domain Shift (12/87), Assemblage Points (3/12/95), Life Stages, Life Stages & Addictions, Bring Your Body Along, Unraveling

    Panel for Celebrating Men, Satisfying Women, Los Angeles

    Sweat Lodges with Wallace Black Elk, Charlie Tom, Eagle Man, Lorendra.

    Vision Quest with Phyllis Clay in Arizona

    Peruvian medicine man with Phyllis Clay

    The Year 2000

    The year 2000 had much significance for me as it was a year of milestones. I turned 60 in March, the year of the dragon and I was born in the year of the dragon. I had been doing men's work for 25 years, had been doing Healing the Father Wound® workshops for 15 years (45 weekends for women only, 27 for men only, and 8 years of women and men via Clearing the Air™), and spent 5½ years on the road in the Browsers' Bookmobile, the last 4 ½ of those years being full-time on the road.

    I had done much personal work, over the years, and had learned much from others. As some of you know, I was doing what I had asked you to do. Take the year 2000 to eliminate the things I don't like about myself, to replace them with new patterns, belief systems, and ways of being that really suit who I am at my core, so that I can start the new millennium, which really beings 01.01.01, as that person.

    My way of doing this was to do up to a one-year advance, not retreat, free from outside influences, and see what really works for me. This meant no workshops, no income producing work, no traveling, no television, radio, newspapers, or magazines, no direct human contact of any kind for up to a year. My intention was to see what the future might have in store for me and if it included a return to facilitating the workshops. Gordon Clay

See Potato Chronicles, a reflection on that work.

  • Corporate Work:

    Kansas City Star Chicago Office (65-66), Leo Burnett, Chicago (66-72), Bryan/Donald Advertising, Kansas City, MO (72-76); N. W. Ayer/Pritikin & Gibbons San Francisco, (76-81); Foote, Cone & Belding-Impact San Francisco (82-83), Straw Hat/Saga Foods Dublin, CA (84-85); Tracy Locke, San Francisco. (85-86). Started MAS Medium 1/1/87. Clients included Diet Centers of the Bay Area, Del Monte Foods, and the California Milk Advisory Board. Retired at the end of 2001.

*     *     *

It is said to begin with the father. - Mazine Kumin

Healing the Father Wound®, Healing the Mother Wound®, Tantrum Yoga® and Clearing the Air™
are registered trademarks of Gordon Clay ©2000-2023 Gordon Clay